Last week I translated Prof. DeRose doing a class to business students and some of the questions that came up were really interesting. So what I thought I would do this week is try to answer some of them paraphrasing DeRose and using some of my own thoughts.
How can a leader influence or convince his team?
I loved DeRose’s answer to this! His take was really interesting, first, we should not be trying to convince people of anything, either they will do it of their own will because they understand and want to do something, or they won’t. So convincing is not an effective way to deal with people.
Influencing, however, is something we do all the time. My words on this post are influencing you of something. Your smile or frown, your choice of words, etc. Be aware that you are influencing the world through your existence. The example you give throughout your life is highly influential! Don’t squander it!
This brings a secondary question: what should I be influencing people towards? In our point of view the DeRose Method is a great starting point. The concepts we teach, the lifestyle we live, the attitudes we recommend…. but the principle behind them can be summarized very simply as treating others how you would like to be treated yourself.
How can we deal with failure? How can we manage when we tried everything and still had no success?
This first question Prof DeRose had time to answer and it was the question I asked — hehhehe.
His response really resonates with me, his point of view can be summed up in one of his most enlightened quotes: “Obstacles and difficulties are part of life. Life is the art of overcoming them.” In a sense, failures are lessons that we need to take to heart and improve on. Even the failures that seem most costly are still teaching us what our limits may be, what our unknowns were and giving us the skillset to manage this process and succeed tomorrow.
While the feeling of an unsatisfactory outcome may not be great never lose sight that at the tail end there are lessons and you are coming out stronger, wiser, better prepared. In the long run what do you want? Do you want to dwell on what could have been or to continue to strive for what you dream?